Inside The Mind Of Teens:
Self-Esteem & Mental Health
Insecurities In Teens
Top Three Insecurities in Teens
When I conducted my research, I found that these are the top three insecurities in teens:
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Pressure (not being good enough
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Failure
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Appearance
Insecurities stems from lack of self-esteem. They can be caused by numerous things like comparing yourself to others, the "standards" set by society, social media, seeking validation, and from previous failures or bad decisions.
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PRESSURE
(to be not good enough)
56. 3% of the people who took my survey had " Pressure (not being good enough)" among their top three insecurities.
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Pressure is a big factor for people to be insecure because of the idea that you always have to be enough or more to achieve success. Whatever success is to people, could be different but most people have the same reasons why they feel as though they aren' t good enough. Some of them being: the chronic comparison to other people and pressure set by people in your environment including yourself.
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How does this affect one's self esteem?
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The unrealistic portrayal of people sets a standard in people's mind that they need to be a certain way and this causes pressures in teens which then affects their self esteem because they feel as though they aren't good enough. In a study about adolescent boys published by JAMA Pediatrics, "Nearly 18 percent of boys are highly concerned about their weight and physique, [which] reflect a major difference between boys and girls when it comes to weight concerns: whereas girls typically want to be thinner, boys are as likely to feel pressure to gain weight as to lose it."
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Pressure isn't just about appearances though. Sometimes teens feel pressure because of their own parents. According to Susan Badger, a family therapist, "When children feel loved, supported and protected by parents, they are prone to feel ‘good’ and secure about who they are. If parents are abusive, negligent, unavailable or critical, this can be hurtful and damaging.”
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FAILURE
52.5% of the people who took my survey had "Failure" among their top three insecurities.
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Failure is defined to be "the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, and may be viewed as the opposite of success." Failure can make people insecure because it makes you question your self-worth. Getting a bad grade on an exam are often causes of feelings of failure among teens. In the survey that I conducted, 35% of teens felt insecure about their grades.
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How does failure affects teens' self esteem?
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Failure can be especially tough on teens because they're at a time where they are building their self confidence or self-esteem. Failing can make them feel like they aren't good enough causing them to have a low self-esteem. But, what teens don't realize yet is that failure isn't fully what defines them. As cliche as it sounds, how you get back up and how you overcome your failure, is what defines who you are. There are thousands of quotes about failure because failing is a life lesson.
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Some of the quotes I found about failure are:
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"Falling is not a failure. The failure is to stay there where you fell." -Socrates
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“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” - Denis Waitley
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“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” - Thomas A. Edison
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“Failure is so important. We speak about success all the time. It is the ability to resist failure or use failure that often leads to greater success. I've met people who don't want to try for fear of failing.” - J.K. Rowling
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“When we give ourselves permission to fail, we, at the same time, give ourselves permission to excel.” - Eloise Ristad
APPEARANCE
51.2 % of the people who took my survey had "Appearance" among their top three insecurities.
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Some of the responses I received from my question, "If you chose appearance, which of your features would you like to change?" included:​ weight, face, height, etc.
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But how does this type of mentality affect one's self esteem?
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Society's set standards of what "beautiful and perfect" is has clouded the thoughts of many people, especially teens. When you see an image of someone who is declared "beautiful" and you recognize that you may not have the features that this "beautiful and perfect" person has, it may make you feel insecure which leads to having a low self esteem. According to psychiatrist and self esteem expert Christopher Andre, "falling prey to negative thoughts about your appearance, only makes the situation worse." In addition, many studies have shown that the widespread use of social media is a huge contributor for teens to feel insecure because of the unrealistic portrayal of people. In the article, The Media And Body Image - How It Impacts Your Self-Esteem, it is stated that "People with low self-esteem spend the most time on social media studies show. It was also found that social media causes people to have lower self-esteem. That means that people already suffering from low self-esteem are indulging in an activity that causes lower self-esteem." In addition, the media always lie to us and makes people look different than what they actually do via photo editing or photoshop causing people to feel like they aren't "beautiful."
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COPING MECHANISMS
How To Cope With Insecurities:
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Self-talk; say positive things about yourself
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Keep a journal and write how you feel
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Vent to a friend
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Take a temporary break from what's causing your insecurity
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Listen to music
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Remember that things will get better
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Understand your triggers
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Find a hobby; if you already have one do it
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Ask for help
